healing, part 2

Yesterday and I ran for the first time in exactly one week since the marathon. It was like homecoming.

When I got back to the house I did my usual flop-on-the-grass and regulate my breathing ritual that I normally do. As I lay in the thick turf, like some sweaty snow angel wrapped in Nike, I thought about how much I love a good run. And then I realized how much I hate it too. And how sometimes I hate it so much when I’m doing it that I turned my mind off and when I am finished and I look back at what I did and I can’t remember anything, I can feel neither accomplishment nor shame because I hated it and turned my mind off… and now I am just a salty worn out runner who’s laying in the crab grass who turned her mind off.

~ by Jen on March 10, 2008.