My thoughts.
I hate this. I have nothing to write, because lately (and I can’t stand admitting it) mylife has been consumed with….. wedding.
Let me just tell. you.
I was not created to be a bride. Girlfriend? best on the block. Fiance? you betcha. Wife? definitely gonna try very hard. Mom? I’m starting to think so. Pretty OK I’d imagine. But, bride? That hat looks terrible on me. Like a derby hat with a big red plume sticking out the side on a hippie chic girl who bites her nails and doesn’t comb her hair. It’s terrible. It’s awkward. You want to turn your head.
This is why: (I’ve been examining my insufficient nature in this area) I DON’T CARE. I don’t care about “colors” or save-the-dates or shades of white. I think it is all rediculous. As a woman I am offended at the marketed wedding. I look through bridal magazines and my palms sweat. Suddenly four years of solociology and gender studies comes flooding back and my lense tells me “poison!” And I’ve asked myself many times if I am overreacting. Sometimes I believe I am. Most times, I come to the conclusion that it’s a crazy jacked up world out there based on fear culture, hegemony, profit and appearance.
Me? Negative?
That’s the thing- this experience, although it may sound very ”anti” has been entirely liberating for me. Wholly positive because I’ve been affirmed – deep in the spirit of who I am- in ways indescribable. Because, I have said
No.
And it has meant the difference between my sanity and details… the difference between comfortable and grouchy. I’ve said “no” to things people don’t even think you can say no to. And my friends… it’s felt so good.
I’ve resisted the wedding process, but I have grown. I have grown into a more confident woman, one who knows what she wants and is not timid and will (kindly) say no. One who knows what freedom is and how to get it. The secret is simple:
Less, not more. Do what you can and love what you’ve done.
Oh dearheart!
I think your true realness and unassuming beauty inside and out, will make you one of the most stunning brides that ever walked the earth. I love your honesty. And yes, friend. Less IS always more.
Voli Dublino thinks you are right!
YES!! So true
Oh my goodness…where have you been? I am engaged as well, and when I say that I don’t have “colors” or a “theme”, the people seem to not be able to comprehend that. One dress saleslady asked if I had any dress ideas in mind and I said that I don’t read bridal magazines and she rolled her eyes.
People seem to think that every woman wants, hopes, desires, lives for her moment at being a bride. I don’t doubt that it will be a wonderful feeling, but it doesn’t have to be nearly as complicated and commercial as the industry makes it out to be.
Good luck!